


as if death itself was undone

by petrichorblue94



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: BAMF Lydia, Celtic Mythology & Folklore, F/M, Lydia goes back to the past and swiftly and gracefully avoids all possible drama, Time Travel, Time Travel Fix-It, sass and sarcasm as a coping mechanism, semi inspired by a han x leia time travel fanfic, stiles is dead in the first few paragraphs, tw: panic attack in the first chapter, unbeta'd - we die like men, wholesome stiles
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-22
Updated: 2020-07-22
Packaged: 2021-03-05 05:29:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,140
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25449133
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/petrichorblue94/pseuds/petrichorblue94
Summary: So the thing is - Lydia didn’t expect to be the reincarnation of the Irish banshee queen Clíodna. She definitely did not expect to accidentally reset time with her scream when Stiles died in her arms on the freakin’ marriage altar. But she’ll take what she can get and if that means surviving high school again (literally surviving) then so be it. At least Stiles would be alive to kiss her annoyance away.ORAnother stydia time travel fanfic.
Relationships: Lydia Martin/Stiles Stilinski
Comments: 13
Kudos: 150





	as if death itself was undone

Stiles Stilinski doesn't leave her with any last words. He doesn't have the strength to.

Lydia's bloodied hands (oh God, that's his blood on her hands) hold his and he just looks at her helplessly, trying to take a breath without success. 

The supernatural creatures on the wedding are fighting Monroe's hunters all around her and some of the humans are probably also trying to help but she honestly doesn't care what happens - she just keeps staring at the man she told "I do" to just a minute ago. He's just so _alive_ , there's so much _life_ in his eyes, how can he be dying? 

But the pressure in her throat, the need to just _scream_ , tell her that it's true and her basic medical knowledge tells her that this wound is fatal and he'll die probably in the next few seconds. 

And then that bright light in his eyes goes out and the world suddenly stops making sense. 

When she screams, it's so strong that all the windows shatter and everyone stops fighting to cover their ears. She doesn't direct the scream at anyone, she just keeps screaming and she feels like she'll never stop. But there's a bright light that drowns out everything around her and makes her close her eyes. 

She feels the world around her pulsate in its darkness. 

When she opens them, she's not in the church anymore. She's in a car and she startles like she's been dreaming and hits her head in the window and lets out a curse.

"Did you fall asleep in the car again?" her mother asks her and gives her a smile in the rearview mirror.

But Lydia's mind is in a state of confusion. How did she get transported here? She knows her mother was at the wedding as well so what happened? But this doesn't matter so much. 

"Oh God, mom," she sobs out. 

"Honey, what's wrong?" her mother asks in concern but doesn't pull the car. Lydia just keeps crying.

"What's wrong?" she repeats hysterically. "What's wrong?! My husband just died in my arms and you're asking me what's wrong? I don't know what kind of supernatural fuck-up happened to transport us to safety but I want to go back!"

"Lydia," her mother says warily. "I think you were just having a vivid dream. Do you have a fever? Do you need me to take you to the hospital?" 

"A dream?!" Lydia yells and then looks at her hands. There was no blood on them. Did she develop some kind of amnesia? Is she missing a huge chunk of between then and now? 

"Do you want me to write you a note for school?" 

"School?!"

Lydia looks through the car window and notices that the car approaching Beacon Hills High School. 

Maybe she is having a psychotic break, the banshee concludes. She's always been walking on the edge of a nervous breakdown what with her banshee powers but maybe Stiles' death just broke her for real. It wouldn't surprise her. 

Before she can tell her mother that she's probably going to have her committed, Lydia notices the two boys in front of the school and suddenly she doesn't care if she's gone bonkers because at least she can see him alive again. 

"Ne, I'm fine, I was just startled by my dream too suddenly," she tells her mother. "Don't worry."

"Alright then," her mother says and Lydia bids her a quick goodbye. 

As she exits the car she suddenly starts second-guessing herself. Her Stiles was twenty-five and this one looked like the Stiles she met when she started hanging out with him and Scott because of Allison. What if this is real? What if she - and that's probably gonna sound crazy out loud - but what if she time-travelled? If that's the case, _when_ exactly was she? 

What if she just ignored him? What if she never got involved with him. Would he survive then? If there was no wedding he could be murdered at? 

Lydia imagines a lifetime devoid of Stiles. She couldn't possibly picture a more painful thing. 

"Hey, Lydia!" he exclaims and she can physically wince from the emotional pain of hearing him again. _You died_ , she wants to yell at him _, why did you die?_ "Looks like... you're gonna ignore me!" he says sadly. The girl stops on her heels and turns around. She throws her arms around his neck and if anyone judges her for sniffling and not reigning in a few tears, then she would tear them apart. She can feel Stiles flail around like a penguin and he's probably looking at Scott with a rather helpless expression. She just clings on to him and breathes in the smell of his skin and tries to find her centre again. "Hey, what's wrong?" he says as he finally hugs her back. 

"I just really needed a hug," she lies lamely when she composes herself again. Then she pulls away and unconsciously pats his shirt, trying to ease the crinkles. "I'm sorry for ruining your shirt."

Stiles starts fumbling for words, looking completely awkward and nervous. "You can ruin my shirt anytime!" he says finally. She sort of doesn't want to leave him. She doesn't know which class she's supposed to have, she can't remember her curriculum from her first year of high school and she doesn't care. Stiles notices she's not leaving and scratches the back of his neck. "Er, we were just going to head to class," he said. "I can walk you to your class if you want?"

"You know my schedule?"

He blushes furiously. "Eh, maybe, yes?"

Lydia wants to kiss him. He looks so nervous and so earnest and so pure, she realises that he changed with the supernatural disasters going on around them. "I would love that," she answers his previous question softly. 

"You do? You'd love that?" he repeats.

"I do," she says and suddenly remembers the irony of saying this for the second time today. She wants to laugh until she cries but she manages to pull herself together before any other embarrassing crying ensues.

Stiles throws and incredulous look at Scott before he waves him goodbye and goes with her. In truth, she lets him lead since she doesn't know which classroom she's supposed to go to. She notices people are staring but she doesn't know why - they used to hang out even in their first year of high school.

He gives her a few intense side glances as they walk together and she can't help but stare at him.

"So what's really going on?" he asks her. "You're far too confident to be crying about today being the first day of high school."

So it's the first day of high school. That means that Scott was bitten by Peter just last night. He probably doesn't even know he's a werewolf yet. And that would also explain why people are surprised at seeing them together.

She didn't want to think of an excuse to Stiles. She also didn't want to lie to him. "If I tell you, you probably wouldn't believe me."

"There probably aren't many things I wouldn't believe you," he says gently. But she knows that once he told her he would believe anything and she knows it's too soon. 

"I'll tell you one day soon," she promises. 

"You plan on talking to me again?" he asks, surprised. Lydia wants to slap her past self. Stiles was the most beautiful guy she's ever seen, how could she have ever ignored him, buzzcut and high school outcast fame aside? Not having the strength to say 'I do' for the third time today, she just nods. "I feel like I'm in some alternate reality," he says. 

"You are," she replies. Because if she wasn't having a psychotic break, that means that she has the chance to save him. And if she has even the _tiniest_ chance of saving him, she will save him because she's not going to lose him again. 

He laughs. "That's nice to know."

They reach her classroom. Ah, English literature as a first class, of course. 

She just looks at him and she fears she won't be able to breathe when he goes. He also stares at her, like he can't even think what else to say but he also doesn't want to leave her.

The bell rings. 

"See you around?" he says uncertainly. 

"Definitely," she tells him. She wonders if she's brave enough to ask for a second hug. She musters up the courage just before he turns to leave. "Another hug for the road?" She winces. He's not alcohol, why did she say this?

But Stiles just grins after overcoming his own fluster. "Another one coming right up!" And he opens his arms theatrically wide before enveloping her in his arms.

Lydia closes her eyes and breathes in deeply. He always told her something similar whenever she told him that she had a bad day at work and just wanted to cuddle with him and forget about how annoying the outside world could be. He used to tell her: 'A cuddle with the world's greatest boyfriend coming right up!'. She presses herself closer to him before she pulls away. 

"Don't be late for class," she tells him. He grins. 

Lydia doesn't really pay much attention in class but it's just an introductory lesson anyway. 

Instead, she thinks about what went wrong before she woke up in the past. 

So the choir at the wedding turned out to have been full of Monroe's people. 

After he flung his knife at Stiles' back, the hunter told her that this was what happened when humans and supernaturals intermarry. Death.

Scott launched himself at him at that point but she didn't really look to see what happened, she just stared at Stiles. 

Lydia remembers her scream, her strongest one yet. She doesn't think it could get any stronger than that. She remembers the white light that followed it. 

Could she have reset time somehow, back to when her husband was alive and didn't know her, not really? 

First year. Allison was still alive then. Is still alive now. 

Maybe she can change other things if she isn't truly just blacked out next to Stiles' corpse and dreaming about what-ifs.

As soon as the class is over, she goes to look for now alive high school best friend.

Technically, Stiles was always her best friend ever since the Nogitsune happened so she could now see her two dead best friends in the space of a day. 

Lydia spots her at the lockers but before she can approach her, a puppy Isaac stops her. "Lydia, hey!" he said.

"What is it, Isaac?" she asks the timid boy softly, suddenly remembering how he was one of the first to jump in after Scott to avenge Stiles. He only came from France for the wedding and it sure didn't do him any good.

"You know my name?" he asks, surprised.

"Why shouldn't I know your name?" she says with a smile. 

"No reason, I guess," he mumbles. "Look, I was wondering if you maybe wanna go out with me?"

Lydia's eyebrows might have gone up to her hairline. She isn't sure. She suddenly remembers that Isaac asked her out on the first day of high school but she ignored him. 

"Oh, Isaac, I'm sorry," she tells him gently. "I'm in love with someone else and I don't think it would ever change. But I would love to be your friend, if that's alright?"

Isaac's downcast gaze suddenly lifts and he stares at her in surprise. "That would be great!" She remembers how lonely he was before he became a part of the pack. 

"We should hang out at lunch sometime," she tells him resolutely. 

He grins. "Awesome!" Lydia then looks at Allison again who seems like she is ready to leave the lockers. Isaac notices that. "I should get going. See ya!" Lydia grins back at him. "Jackson's a lucky guy!" Isaac says as he was leaving.

"Jackson?" she repeats, confused. 

Never mind gay ex-boyfriends from years ago, she focuses on Allison and quickly approaches her. 

"You're new here," she tells her as a greeting. 

Allison smiles at her an scratches her shoulder. "Yeah, I just moved here with my family."

"New town, first day at school - I know how daunting it can be," Lydia tells her conspicuously. "You seem like a nice person and you have a killer fashion taste, we should totally be best friends."

Allison laughs. "Yeah, that would be great."

The banshee notices Allison look at something behind her and when she follows her gaze, she sees Stiles and Scott. 

"I see you've got a good taste in boys as well," Lydia teases, gaze lingering on Stiles as always. Then, knowing that Scott would hear her with his newfound werewolf hearing, she decides to tease further. "Just so long as you're not looking at the pretty one with the buzzcut, we're fine."

Allison laughs nervously at being caught staring at Scott but then decides to tease back. "Oh, so he's the one you like here?"

Just as she says this, Lydia feels a pair of arms encircle her. Her self-preservation instincts kick in and she twists away from the grip and levels her attacker to the ground with the mad martial arts skills she learned from Parrish. 

"What the fuck?" is all her attacker says. 

"Jackson?" Lydia asks in a high-pitched voice. "Why would you try to surprise me like that?"

Jackson looks at her with hatred in his eyes and clutches one of his wrists. "I thought I would surprise my girlfriend."

"Your _girlfriend_?"

"Unless you've forgotten we're dating," he says with a raised eyebrow and stands up. "Where did you learn skills like that?"

Fuck. 

Logically, Lydia knew she was in the past. But her grieving mind was focused on the dead ones who were breathing once more, not on her abusive ex-boyfriend. 

Later, Jackson became her friend. Her pal. Her mate, as the British say. But right now he is an emotionally abusive asshole. 

"Um, about that," Lydia says carefully. "We totally need to talk after school."

He looks at her incredulously. "Don't tell me you're gonna break up with me." His voice is raised and Lydia notices how the conversations around them hush up and people gather around to stare. 

"Don't you want to be surprised?"

"What the fuck is wrong with you today?" he asks her. "Is it because of the Stilinski loser? Don't think I wasn't told about the way you hugged him in the middle of the schoolyard!"

Lydia throws Allison an apologetic glance. She's sorry that her friend has to witness all of this. "Look, Jackson," she says softly. "We're not working anymore. I think it would be best if we just let each other go."

"You're gonna regret this, Lydia!" Jackson warns her. "And I'm gonna make sure Stilinski pays for this. I'm gonna ruin his life!"

Lydia starts getting tired of this. She tried being nice for the sake of the future friendship they were going to have once he got his shit together but there's no point trying to be gentle with him now. "He's got _nothing_ to do with this," Lydia says. _Liar_ , her mind tells her. "I just think you're a toxic, emotionally abusive asshole. I'm Lydia Martin and I deserve better. Any self-respecting girl deserves better than you. Now off you go," she finishes abruptly. "Shoo!"

Jackson just looks at her for a long moment and then steps into her space bubble. He grabs her wrist and squeezes until she winces. "You did not just publically break up with me and humiliate me in front of the whole school," he hisses. 

Lydia is about to kick him where it hurts when several things happen at once. Allison grabs his arm and forces him to drop Lydia's wrist and Stiles and Scott come 'to her rescue'.

"Let her go," Stiles says calmly. The kind of calm that he used on Cora Hale when they were in high school and the kind of calm he used when he was dealing with criminals in the FBI. Scott just stood silently beside him but he was also looking at Jackson intensely. 

But Jackson only stares at the two boys for a second before he looks at Allison. "And who are you to intervene between my girlfriend and me?" he asks threateningly. 

Allison juts her chin up at him. "First off, she just broke up with you, and second off," - here she turns to smile at Lydia - "I'm her new best friend."

Realising that he has lost the fight, Jackson turns to leave but not before glaring at Stiles. "You're _dead_ , Stilinski."

_You're dead, Stilinski._

_... dead, Stilinski._

_...dead..._

Lydia closes her eyes and takes in a shaky breath. She can't breathe. It's like her lungs aren't working. _Is this what he felt like when he was dying?_

Her mind gets dizzy. It's like everything slows down. "Lydia, are you okay?" Allison asks worriedly. Man, this girl only knew her for five minutes and she already witnessed her breaking up with a boyfriend, getting manhandled, defended her from her abuser and now is about to witness her having a panic attack. Talk about quick best friends. 

It seems that Stiles, who was glaring at Jackson until now, heard Allison's words because he turns to look at her. "Lydia?"

 _Not dead_ , she tells herself. _Alive_. 

_But you held him as he died._

_Oh- oh, **God**._

Lydia turns to look at Allison. "I'm sorry for involving you in so much drama so quickly," she tells Allison. "But, eh, to answer your question - I think I'm having a panic attack."

"Oh, God," Allison says anxiously but her voice seems far away. "Is there anything we can do to help?"

Lydia looks around and realises people are staring at her. She tries to stop the panic, she tries to breathe in but she just looks at Stiles helplessly. 

He seems to get her though because he comes to her and hides her from everyone else's prying eyes with his broad shoulders. "Let's go somewhere else," he tells her and gently takes her hand. Hushed whispers erupt between the students like wildfire. 

Lydia nods. "Yeah, I just need some fresh air," she tells him, focusing on his hand. Alive, she tells herself, alive. But she saw the light leave his eyes earlier today. 

The Stiles she saved from the Ghost Riders, the one she saved from the Nogitsune. The Stiles that saved her from Peter Hale and Eichen House. The one she cuddled with when she got a bad day. The one she was excited to start a new life with. That Stiles is dead. 

He was dead and gone and she couldn't even bury him because she might have destroyed the world where he was dead with her scream. "Oh my God," she says brokenly. 

She doesn't notice Allison and Scott sharing a look like they can't figure out whether they should follow or not. They end up following. 

Stiles leads her to the pitch. There's no class so it's mostly empty. They hurriedly sit down on the grass. "You need to breathe with me, okay?" he tells her. But Lydia can't breathe in evenly, her heart rate is incredibly fast. She breaths shallowly, it feels like she can't take in as much air as her lungs needed. 

She has potentially destroyed a whole world. All because of Stiles. 

"Lydia!" he says again, louder this time. His hands grip hers tighter, drawing her to the present. "Focus on me, okay?" Lydia nods. "Breathe with me."

He takes in a deep breath, holds it in and breathes out. Lydia mirrors him. 

_He's breathing_ , she thinks. 

_He might not be my husband who died, but this is Stiles Stilinski, the boy I love, and he's breathing._

She slowly calms down. 

_Everyone is still alive._

"Thank you," Lydia tells him and squeezes his hands. Stiles looks at her with awe. "And I'm sorry for everything."

"No, no, there's nothing to be sorry about," he tells her. "It's that douche's fault."

Allison nods. "I might have known him for five minutes but I can safely say I don't like him."

"Besides," Stiles says jokingly. "I've had panic attacks before and Scott has asthma, you'll fit right in."

"Dude," Scott says but Lydia laughs.

* * *

Lydia and Allison spend the rest of the day together. Lydia is glad to see her best friend again and get to know her without the pretence of being shallow and stupid. 

They go to see the lacrosse tryouts and they tease each other about Stiles and Scott respectively. 

Jackson and his friends might be a little too rough on Stiles who holds his own, at least verbally, but their attention is diverted when an angry Scott practically demolishes everyone with his new werewolf strength. 

Lydia looks at Stiles, sitting on the bench, and thinks with amusement of the future when he could hold his own against supernaturals like Theo.

* * *

School ends and she and Allison exchange their phone numbers and become friends on Facebook.

"By the way, where have you learned those kick-ass skills?" Allison asks her before she leaves.

"Oh, an old friend taught me," she says. "But I'm thinking of starting martial arts classes to keep fit."

"That sounds awesome!" Allison exclaims. "I'd love to come as well!"

"I'll send you the links to the classes I find."

"Great!" 

"See you tomorrow, Allison!"

"Bye, Lydia!"

She can't believe she got Allison back.

* * *

Lydia has heard the story many times. She knows how and where Stiles and Scott met Derek Hale. She knows he was being unnecessarily creepy due to his grief and trauma. The guy is terrible with first impressions. 

She has a plan to fix that before he makes a complete ass of himself. 

First, she goes to take her mother's car.

The banshee finds all three of them - Stiles, Scott and Derek - in the forest, in front of the old Hale house. She waves at them as if it's normal for her to enter private, abandoned properties in the middle of the freaking forest.

She sees Derek stare at her and then turn to Scott but she doesn't hear him say: “Who’s she? She reeks of grief. I haven’t smelled anything like that ever since my whole family burned down.”

She sees Stiles' borrows furrow but she doesn't hear him ask: “What do you mean?” 

“She smells like someone who just had their whole world destroyed.”

She doesn't know the gears in Stiles’ mind start turning.

Then after school, she finds the boys and Derek before Derek makes a complete ass of himself. Derek just stares at her as she approaches and then turns to Scott: “Who’s she? She reeks of grief. I haven’t smelled anything like that ever since my whole family burned down.”

“What do you mean?” Stiles asks, brows furrowing. 

“She smells like someone who just had their whole world destroyed.” The gears of Stiles’ mind start turning.

But before he can say anything else, Lydia comes in with an overjoyed 'Derek Hale!' and _pinches_ Derek's cheek like a drunk aunt. 

The werewolf looks at her as if she has just told him a very funny but appalling joke. 

"What the hell, woman?" Stiles exclaims. "Have you got no sense of self-preservation?!"

Lydia waves that concern away. "Nonsense, Derek here is my friend."

"I most certainly am not your friend!" 

"I haven't seen him in a long time and I wanted to catch up with him." She tries to drag him away like a crazy woman but he doesn't bulge. At the boys' incredulous stares, she says. "Well, not friends exactly, but I do know his cousin Malia and it feels like I'm friends with him as well. He hasn't been in the town much so I've much to tell him."

Sensing what's happening, Derek stops struggling and follows her. 

"I thought his whole family was dead?" Stiles says and then Scott winces at his tactlessness. 

"Nope, not all of them!" Lydia says. 

Then she turns away and leads Derek to her car. 

"You better tell me what's going on very quickly," Derek tells her dangerously. 

Lydia rolls her eyes. She knows what a grumpy puppy he is - a true sourwolf, as Stiles called him.

Lydia starts driving.

"I'm a time-travelling banshee and nine years from now we're gonna be a part of the same pack." Lydia knows that she's probably shocked him, so she just continues her story without pausing for a reaction. "To sum it up, dear old uncle Peter is a sociopathic werewolf who got mad inside his mind throughout the years so he killed your sister Laura and became the alpha that bit Scott. Scott's a harmless puppy that learns self-control pretty quickly so there's no need to worry about him so much by the way. Eh, anyway, we kill Peter, you become the alpha, Peter possesses me, gets himself resurrected, you lose your alpha status when you save Cora's life, Scott becomes a true alpha, we slowly become a pack. Eh, Peter sorta heals from his sociopathic tendencies and becomes our ally.

"There are a few more high school students, some of them die, others leave but at the core of it, it's Scott, Stiles, me and Malia. She's Peter's daughter. Your mom sorta took the memory from Peter because she got the idea that he was a sociopath. Malia is currently a werecoyote who can't turn back to her human self because she's traumatised. When she was nine, she turned and accidentally became the cause of her adoptive mom and her adoptive sister's deaths. So I think she'd fit right in the family. 

"We're gonna go get her now. I'm sure you'll be able to help her."

Derek just stares at her. She doesn't expect him to be able to talk for a long time. She just watches the road. 

"How did you manage to travel back in time?" he asks her. 

"It all started with a new group of hunters who started slaughtering supernaturals and the allies of the supernaturals. That idiot with the buzzcut out there that seemed suspicious of you? The love of my life. Eight hours ago I watched him get gutted right in front of me, on our wedding day... I- I held his hand as he breathed his last and I screamed and then I woke up here, in the past.”

Derek's gaze gets softer. "At least you have a chance to save him."

Lydia glances at him for a brief moment. "You heal from the past, you know?" she tells him softly. "You get married, you have kids, you're happy with your cousin and Cora visits from time to time. You forgive Peter for what he did when he was insane." She sighs. "We were all happy. Our only problem was the crazy hunters."

They finally reach their destination. The wrecked car. 

"Are you ready?" Lydia asks the dark man. 

"I'm ready as I'll ever be," Derek tells her. Lydia gets the clothes she brought specifically for this and they come out of the car. 

As if on cue, Malia approaches them and bares her teeth at them, growling. 

Derek's eyes flash blue at her. 

"I know you're scared," he tells her. "I know you're grieving." He crouches down so that he's at her eye-level. "But we're kin. Can you feel it? I can. We're blood. If you shift back, I'll protect you and I'll teach you how to shift. We'll be family. You'll never have to be alone again." The two of them look at each other for a long moment, a silent conversation passing between their eyes. "I know you can do it, Malia."

Lydia watches as Malia turns back to her human self and looks at Derek, then at her, with curiosity and wariness. Derek smiles at her, still looking into her eyes before he turns away to give her privacy. The banshee throws Malia the clothes and the girl slowly dresses up. 

"And who are you?" Malia asks once she is fully dressed.

"She's the one that brought me to you."

"Thank you," Malia tells Lydia sincerely.

Lydia smiles at her. "Let's get you two home."

Derek and Malia talk quietly in the back of the car and Lydia drives without interrupting their conversation, smiling in satisfaction. She had saved Malia from the loneliness years earlier and Derek was probably the person who is best equipped to understand her and help her. 

"Do we have any other family?"

Derek nods. "My sister and your dad. But we probably won't see Cora soon and Peter doesn't know you even exist." Malia nods as well. 

Lydia drops them off and tells them she'll come to visit them tomorrow. 

She suddenly feels tired and wary. She knows that she'll cry as soon as she enters her room. 

The way home feels long. 

Thankfully, her mom is waiting for her. 

"How was your day, honey?" Natalie asks her. 

"It was good. I met new friends."

Her mom sighs in relief and smiles at her. "I'm glad to hear that. There's a Stiles here to see you and he seemed worried about you." 

Lydia's heart skips a beat. "He's here?"

“He said you seemed in a bad mood today and asked if someone died but no one you know died, right?”

Lydia swallows the truth which has formed as a lump in her throat and shakes her head. "I just broke up with Jackson, is all."

"You broke up with your boyfriend?"

"Mhm." Lydia sits down because she still wants to avoid the moment when she would have to confront her feelings. "There's something I need to tell you, mom," she says slowly.

"Don't tell me you got suspended or you got a low grade?"

Lydia shakes her head, suddenly feeling very sad that her mom knows her so little at this point. "No, in fact, it's the opposite." She rummages through her bag and takes out her report card and shows it to her mom. "I've straight A's. In fact, I took a test and I'm a certified genius." Her mom still reads the report card, her expression is now one of shock. "I owe you an apology, mom. I tried so hard to fit in, I pretended to be shallow and dumb. After you divorced dad, I just wanted to feel accepted somewhere. But I really want to fix our relationship now. I want to communicate with you more and to be emotionally closer to you. Is that alright?"

Natalie is reduced to tears. "Honey, I'm so sorry I haven't seen this. I never even noticed. I was so busy working fighting for us to continue with our standard, so busy trying to hold myself together that I didn't stop to be a proper mother to you." She hugs her daughter. "I would love to mend our relationship. I'll make an effort to be more present in your life and to be your friend as well."

"I would really love that too," Lydia tells her warmly. She then releases her mom and steps away. 

“What prompted the whole change?” Natalie asks. “Is it this Stiles?”

Lydia nods. “He's Sheriff Stilinski's kid."

"Ooh, Claudia's son," her mother says in understanding.

Lydia nods. "He’s a good egg, mom, and if I have it my way, you’ll be seeing more of him in the future.” Natalie smiles, glad that Lydia seems to have found the right crowd. "By the way, I'm still a bit distraught about Jackson," she lies. "You might hear sobbing coming from my room at one point. Don't come to check on me because I'd be mortified if you saw me crying like that."

Bracing herself, Lydia goes to her room and just before she enters, she gets this onslaught of memories of the Stiles.

_"Remember I love you."_

_"Just show me your eyes, okay?"_

_"Oh God, I fainted, didn't I?"_

_"It needs to be something that can pull you back."_

Lydia hopes to not have an emotional meltdown before she says ‘hi’. 

Young Stiles is every bit as loveable as her Stiles. There’s a lightness and nervousness to him that she has grieved for years, as the world made her Stiles darker and more jaded. Now she grieves his darkness because it made him himself, it was a part of him. 

This Stiles rushes to her side and bombards her with questions. "Lydia! What happened with Derek? He didn't do anything, right? Tell me if he did and I'll set him straight! Where did you two go? He didn't - he didn't _flirt_ with you or anything, right? How do you know his cousin Malia? I've never heard of a Malia Hale. And I did my research on him! Are you feeling better now? Did Jackson try to contact you?" She just looks at him and marvels at how alive he is. 

She succeeds in her goal to not cry before she says ‘hi’ and starts crying immediately after. Stiles rushes to hug her. "Hey, what's wrong?"

“I can’t,” she gasps. “I can’t breathe,” she finishes. “How am I supposed to do everything, how am I supposed to continue when there’s a hole in my chest and I can’t even -” 

Stiles cups her cheek. “This isn’t because of Jackson, is it?” he asks gently. 

“Jackson?” Lydia asks, confused. “No, no, it’s because of...”

Stiles swallows and starts rambling nervously: “Look, I’m either gonna be _waaaaay_ off the mark or weirdly specifically correct but... how long has it been for you?”

“Since what?”

Stiles swallows again and refuses to meet her gaze but she sees that his eyes are shining brightly with emotion. “Since I died.”

Lydia starts spluttering. Of course, Stiles would figure it out. He figured out Scott was a werewolf before he was even exposed to the supernatural. Her unexpectedly hugging him and behaving differently and grieving so obviously would’ve tipped his overactive imagination and his intuition to the surprisingly correct conclusion.

She takes in a very shattered breath and says: “Oh God, it hasn’t even been a full day.”

And she starts sobbing again and hugs him. 

“Oh God,” it’s Stiles’ turn to say it, as he absent-mindedly combs his fingers through her hair. “Of course I would get together with the one girl that I’ve been in love with and then I’d kick the bucket.”

Lydia sniffles. “To be fair, it wasn’t immediately after,” she tells him. “We did have seven wonderful years together.” She clenches his flannel shirt in her fists. “But even if I was ninety and you died before me, it still wouldn’t have been enough!”

Stiles doesn’t yet know what to do with a distressed Lydia. “You must really dig me, then?” he says off-handedly. 

Lydia actually laughs. “You have no idea,” she says.

“I think I do,” he says softly and she looks up to him and remembers that even so young, Stiles is still infatuated with her. It might not be the love he grew to have for her once he got to know her, but it is still the foundation of that love: the selfless, earnest feeling he has for her that makes him pay attention, notice her and _remember_. 

“No, not yet,” she tells him gently. She caresses his cheek and marvels at how heartbreakingly beautiful he is, like one of those Golden Era Hollywood stars. How alive and present he is. She still cannot believe that this man’s light was extinguished, that she’s in another time. She doesn’t even fucking care that she somehow time-travelled, doesn’t care if that other time, that other world stopped existing. It would never come to be if she has it her way. 

He leads her to her bed and both of them sit down. 

“So how did I go?” he asks, his nostrils flaring. He looks like he’s weirded out by the prospect of his own death but in a typical Stiles way, he just wants to know the facts. “Is it something that can be prevented?”

She thinks about how everything happened and she nods. “Don’t marry me,” she says and watches as he begins to nod automatically but then does a double-take and his eyes widen. “A group of anti-supernatural terrorists killed you in front of me as we were standing on the altar. Just a moment after we said ‘I do’.”

“Man, that’s some weird-ass bad luck,” he comments because he doesn’t know what else to say. On the one hand, he got to marry his first love. On the other hand, he was killed by anti-supernatural terrorists. “Wait, am I supernatural?”

Lydia shakes her head. “I am,” she says, raising her had. “One banshee here.”

“Banshee? Man, before today I thought the world was ordinary and suddenly my best friend is a werewolf and I’m married to a banshee from another time. What else is there to know?” He laughs. Lydia stares at him. Stiles stops laughing and swallows again. “Oh, man. There’s a lot?”

Lydia wants to tell him more about their future, and all the things she wants to prevent, all the suffering she can save him from but all that comes out of her mouth is a new sob. “I’m sorry,” she says. “I’m so sorry, Stiles!” 

He wipes away her tears. “What’s there to be sorry about, huh? You’ve done nothing wrong.” He gently grabs her face and peers into her eyes. “Hey, Lydia, you’re blameless in this. Whoever the me that you adored so much was, I know that he would never have blamed you for this.”

Lydia shakes her head again. “Not about this. I just feel like I’ve wasted so much time ignoring you.” He turned out to be the love of her life in a very real way. Her soulmate, her tether. He was _it_ for her. There could be no one else after him. It would either be _him_ or it would be a bunch of dogs and twelve cats.

“You don’t have to feel this way,” he tells her. “You weren’t obligated to return my feelings.”

But he doesn’t understand. Every minute with Stiles has counted. If she could have dated him since high- 

Wait. She can do it now. 

Suddenly the whole time travel business starts catching up on her on a more tangible level.

She hugs him again, suddenly appreciating the fact that this is a young, alive Stiles and not just a fragment of her imagination. Because that means that everything is fixable now. 

The banshee is suddenly overcome with emotional exhaustion. She will probably mourn the future Stiles at another time but she is in Stiles’ arms right now and everything feels like a distant nightmare that she’s woken up from.

She takes a deep, shuddering breath. Then she looks at him once again. “This might come off as weird and you can totally go home but would it be alright if you called Noah and just told him you’d stay over?” she asks in a small voice. 

Stiles looks at her like she’s just hung up the sky. “Stay? You want me to stay?” he asks excitedly. “Are you kidding me? This is all I’ve ever wanted, of course, I’ll stay.” He stands up and takes out his phone and starts typing a text. Then he turns to her. “Are you sure you want me to stay?”

“I am a hundred per cent sure, Stiles,” she says with affectionate exasperation. 

They take off their shoes and lay on her bed, looking at each other. Stiles is nervous and unsure and he looks like he would bolt at any given moment. Lydia reaches out to touch his cheek again and draws herself into him until she is hugging him. Stiles freezes at the contact between their bodies because there isn't a part that isn't touching. Lydia breathes in deeply the scent coming from his neck, feeling at home. She grabs his arm which seems like it doesn't know what to do and puts it around her waist. 

Stiles looks at her like he’s won the lottery, like he is invincible. But then his gaze grows softer and sadder. “I’m sorry you had to go through what you did today.”

He is so sweet that Lydia leans in and kisses him. She can feel him become electrified like he has just been struck by lightning but he quickly responds to her kiss and deepens it. By all accounts, she wants to jump his bones and let him fuck the grief out of her. But she recognises that for him it is their first kiss, his first kiss and she doesn't want their first time having sex to be when she is still so emotionally affected and grieving. He sighs into her mouth and continues reaching for sweet little kisses as he flips her on her back and starts kissing her neck. “Is this alright?”

“It’s more than alright,” she tells him. “It’s exactly what I need. But Stiles, we can’t do anything more than this today. Not like this.”

The boy nods into her neck and continues sucking on her sensitive skin there. “I just want to make it better for you,” he says. “I want to make the pain to go away.”

She caresses the back of his head. “Oh, Stiles,” she breathes. “You’re the only one who actually can.”

They continue their makeout session until they decide to stop before things get too heated and then they just rest their heads on their arms and stare at each other, each not quite believing that the other is real. 

Somewhere around midnight, she starts telling him everything and he listens keenly, asking numerous questions and making sassy remarks here and there. After a while, her story reaches the moment of his death and she tries so hard to make herself feel emotionally disconnected from it, as though she’s telling a story. She tells him of the changes she already did and what she is planning to do: talk to Deaton, look for a way to stop Peter, to persuade Derek to never give Jackson the bite, to do something about the psychotic part of the Argent family, to never awaken the Nemeton, to never make Scott an alpha so that the darach and the alpha pack don’t come, to prevent Meredith from fucking things up and stealing the Hales’ money, to prevent Monroe from going crazy and starting a supernatural war. The answer to almost everything seems to be the prevention of the Nemeton ritual. 

“Besides,” Lydia said. “I know where it is now, we don’t need to do something as drastic as temporarily drowning you three.”

At one point, their words seem to dry out and they fall asleep. Stiles envelops her in his arms like he’s going to be her fortress and she hides there like she never wants to know anything but him.

* * *

She wakes up early in the morning for some reason and looks at him. He’s already awake (if he ever fell asleep) and he’s looking at her with awe in his eyes. She almost forgets the circumstances of their coming together on her bed. She almost asks him how does it feel to be married to her because she forgets what happened. Then she remembers and her stomach twists cruelly, but she forces herself to think how he’s here. 

“What are you thinking about?” she asks him with a smile.

“Honestly?” He smiles back and brings her to lean on his chest. She happily hugs him and rests her head on his ribcage, listening to his breathing because it is one of her favourite sounds. “I’m thinking: what the hell am I doing in Lydia Martin’s bed and will she wake up and tell me that she’s hit her head and she’s obviously been confused the day before. I’m thinking: oh God, I could get so used to having her in my arms. I’m thinking: time travel is so fucking weird. I’m also thinking about how I’m going to boast to Scott that you totally dig me when I see him today.”

Lydia giggles.

They don’t stay like this for too long and soon start preparing for school.

It looks like she’ll have to go through high school all over again and honestly, it won't be so bad if she’s gonna be with Stiles and Allison and if she ends up not making some of her worst decisions - pining after Jackson and sleeping with a bunch of assholes after him just to distract herself.

They wave Natalie hello on their way out, promptly blush at her teasing and they end up grabbing breakfast from a gas station on their way to school.

A few of their classmates give Stiles a knowing if disbelieving look because he comes in with Lydia Martin by his side and he’s wearing the clothes from yesterday. 

She and Stiles don’t seem to want to separate so she feels like they’re both puppies in love whenever they have to go to different classes.

During lunch, she drags Allison to the table where Scott and Stiles are sitting (not that Allison needs much convincing anyway) and promptly sits down next to her boy.

“So, Lydia, how did you spend last night?” Allison asks teasingly, grinning at the pair in front of her. 

Stiles blushes furiously and Scott smirks because of course, Stiles would have already told him that Lydia fancied him. Or Scott would’ve smelled her on him or whatever.

Lydia looks at Stiles because she doesn’t know if he wants to make it official between them. Realistically she know he’s into her but would he want to call her his girlfriend already?

“It was... nice,” she says and looks at Stiles. She supposes she can barely hide the affection she feels for this boy and she bites her lip because for some ridiculous reason she feels insecure. But she sees the same feeling reciprocated in his eyes. Below the table, he reaches to grasp her hand and honestly? No one else’s skin has felt so good on hers. She curses her renewed teenage hormones. 

Scott pretends his palms are a megaphone and theatrically orders them to get a room. 

“Wow, you sure act fast,” Jackson interrupts their little bubble of happiness. 

Lydia honestly forgot about him. Again. 

Look, she loved gay Jackson. He was nice. He was her pal. The Jackson that broke her heart and treated her like garbage and smirked as he broke her in pieces? That Jackson was an asshole. Is still an asshole. 

And right now he looks absolutely murderous. Thank God he isn't a kanima/werewolf yet. 

“Back off, Jackson,” Stiles tells him. “Go back to your snake nest.”

Lydia almost gasps at the future-related sarcastic comment Stiles made. Even if Jackson used to be a lizard and not a snake.

“Seriously, Lydia, have you hit your head? Is this jerk blackmailing you? Because how could you do this to me otherwise? To us? What you’re doing is social suicide!”

Forgive Lydia if she has to struggle to remember what Jackson is talking about for a moment. She hasn’t been a teenager in six years.

She sighs in exasperation, again. “Look, Jackson. I’m sorry if I hurt your feelings but between the two of us, we both know we didn’t really love each other. (But especially you didn't love me.) We were so toxic to one another! (But especially you were a toxic asshole.) And you’re probably not looking to be my friend right now, so I don’t see what’s the point of your whole monologue.”

“You’ll become a social outcast if you date a loser like him!”

“Hey!” Stiles and Scott both exclaim, offended. Allison squints at Jackson like she can't believe someone can be so shallow.

Lydia stands up so that she is facing her ex-boyfriend in all her 5′3 glory. “Yes, forgive me for my stupidity,” she says sarcastically. “Just give me five minutes to tell Stiles to go away because I suddenly started caring about teenage cliques again.” Her voice is dripping with venom at this point. “Why yes, I don’t really care if I’m going to feel absolutely fucking miserable and unseen with you, if I hate myself for having to pretend I’m a stupid bimbo 24/7 and not a genius with an IQ of 170 who likes to watch not only _The Notebook_ but _Into the Universe with Stephen Hawking_ and _Star Wars_ too, and I definitely don’t give a flying fuck if I’m going to be pathetically unhappy from being away from Stiles.” Then she gives him a charitable little nod. “I suppose I was an idiot, will you ever forgive me and take me back so that I could play the Barbie to your fucking Ken?”

Then she glares at him and sits down. 

“Okay, no one talks to me like that and gets away with it!” Jackson looks like he is ready to punch her but Stiles musters a look so vehemently aggressive that for a moment it looks like he is the werewolf in the group. Finally, Jackson leaves. “Don’t come crying to me when no one comes to your stupid parties anymore.”

“Oh,” Lydia gasps. “However shall I survive that?!” she calls after him but he flips her off. Then she looks at Stiles and notices his smirk. 

“Okay, I know you are usually sarcastic but I feel like you’ve been spending waaay too much time around me because you just roasted Jackson Whittemore armed with nothing but sarcasm and I am so proud I could kiss you right now!”

“Then do kiss me already,” she orders. He grins so stupidly that she can't wait for him to kiss her and meets him midway. Scott and Allison wolf-whistle. 

Once they break apart, Lydia steals herself another kiss or two and has to remember what were they talking about before she smiles confidently and whips her hair. “I’ve wanted to roast this him for a long time.” She hasn't been truly cruel to him. But this Jackson cannot be forgiven for his toxicity, no matter his sob story of not knowing he is gay. Lydia believes in forgiveness but she doesn't believe in forgiving your abuser before he’s actually left you alone and before he's changed completely. 

“Also you totally said you’d be ‘pathetically unhappy’ without me.”

Lydia tries to surpass a wide grin at Stiles’ proud smirk but she fails. 

“Okay, okay, hang on a moment,” Scott suddenly said. “I feel like I’m missing a few key moments in your relationship because two days ago Lydia didn’t even seem to know Stiles existed. What happened between then and now? Like, what am I missing?” 

Stiles and Lydia looked at each other and grinned simultaneously. “That’s a long story, and you’re definitely going to hear the PG-13 version of it someday but today won’t be that day,” Stiles says. 

“I feel like I’ve stumbled in a ridiculously cheesy teen rom-com,” Allison admits. 

Once school ends, Lydia promises Stiles she’ll see him at the party this Friday but she needs to go to check on Derek and Malia first. She also needs to talk to Deaton. Stiles is still a little freaked out by the fact that Scott’s boss is a druid but nods.

“I need to keep an eye on Scott and make sure he doesn’t get chased by his future girlfriend’s murderous dad. Or his other future girlfriend's murderous dad. Man, it sucks to be Scott. And he hasn’t even realised that he’s a werewolf!”

Lydia wants to kiss him goodbye. She really hopes that he’ll kiss her. He notices her interest and gives her that stupid grin. “Stop grinning so stupidly, it makes me want to kiss you!” she groans.

“Stop bossing me around or I’m gonna fall for you even more!” But he doesn’t stop grinning and neither does she. “I’m totally gonna kiss you right now, Lydia Martin” he warns her.

“Then kiss me already!”

Stiles draws her close to him, grasps her face with both hands and leans to kiss her with his eyes closed and crinkled in delight. 

There’s something about his earnestness that really turns her on. Is this eagerness because he’s a teenager now? Or because he hasn’t had another girlfriend before that? She doesn’t know but she feels like she’s falling in love with him all over again.

“Is it weird that I’m gonna miss you?” he asks. She just kisses him again, feeling breathless.

“Not at all,” she whispers. Then she playfully pushes him away. “Go protect Scott from the big bad hunters and werewolves.”

“Go save the future,” he tells her. “But let’s definitely go on a date this weekend.”

“I’d love that!” She waves at him and turns away but then she can’t go on without looking at him again. She turns and he’s still looking at her and her heart does a weird somersault and she thinks how amazing is the fact that this boy named Stiles Stilinski exists. “I so totally dig you,” she repeats the words from last night.

“I know,” he says, making his best Han Solo expression.

* * *

Lydia is still feeling dizzy and happy and slightly turned on before she enters Deaton’s clinic. “How can I help you, Miss?” he asks.

She looks around to make sure there’s no one else inside. 

As if guessing her thoughts, Deaton says: “It’s just my sister in the back room,” he says.

Lydia nods. “That’s actually even better. I need all the help I can get and I’m guessing that my case isn’t something that’s happened in the past.”

Deaton looks at Lydia curiously and leads her to the back room. 

“Miss Martin!” Ms Morrell exclaims in surprise.

“How can we help you?” Deaton asks, sensing at this point that maybe she is not here about Prada.

Lydia takes a deep breath and braces herself. “I’m a banshee and I think I accidentally reset time when Stiles Stilinski died in my arms on the day of our wedding and I screamed. Do you think that the Nemeton is involved?

Lydia might as well have frozen time at this point. Deaton and his sister stare at her for a long moment. 

“Allow me to reiterate,” Deaton begins again. “You’re a banshee and you think you’ve reset time because Scott’s best friend died?”

“Brother, I got this,” Marin said calmly, stepping in. “This might not be as unheard of as you think, even if there was only one similar case.”

Lydia wants to say ‘what the actual fuck, there’ve been other time-hopping banshees before?’ but she settles for: “What do you mean by that?”

“First you must elaborate what happened, Miss Martin,” Marin says. “I need details to have a more vivid picture.”

Lydia gulps. “Well, it happened when I was 25 but from my point of view, it was yesterday.” Marin breaths in sharply in sympathy. “In the future, Stiles and I were a part of the McCall Pack... yes, Scott is already a werewolf and he went off to become a True Alpha. There’s a crazy anti-supernatural organisation that kills supernaturals and they are led by a new hunter called Monroe. She was originally Ms Morrell’s substitute.”

“Another druid?” 

“Another school counsellor.”

“What the hell?”

“My initial thoughts exactly,” Lydia says. “So anyway, those people are obviously against human-supernatural relations of any kind and they found the venue of our wedding even if it was in another city. The choir at the wedding consisted of Monroe's soldiers. 

“They wanted to make an example of Stiles and killed him just as he said ‘I do’.” Lydia gulped. “I think I went into shock. I just fell on my knees and cradled him in my arms and we were looking at each other. 

“He- he couldn’t say anything because his wound was too serious and just a moment later I heard him breathe his last. I think the hunters started killing everyone else, given that about 80 per cent of the people at the wedding were other supernaturals - that included a hellhound, two kitsunes, another werecoyote, two chimaeras and a bunch of werewolves. 

“I didn’t really notice who died, and everything happened so fast. I just screamed for Stiles and I don’t think I’ve ever screamed like this. I closed my eyes for a second - it felt like I was carried away by a wave actually - and when I opened them, I literally found myself in my mother’s car, being driven to school. Before I could start crying hysterically and ask my mother why the hell was she driving me to school when my literal soulmate just died at the freakin’ alter, I saw him with that cute, ridiculous buzzcut of his and thought ‘Oh well, if I’m gonna have a psychotic break, I might as well hug Stiles’. But the thing is, I’m starting to get convinced this is real.”

“Wow,” was all Ms Morrell said for a moment.

“What did you mean by ‘your literal soulmate’, Miss Martin?” Deaton asked her curiously.

“Exactly as it says on the tin. Soulmates. Tethers. I drowned him in a ritual to resurrect the Nemeton, which was the stupidest thing we’ve ever done and it was your idea by the way. I was one of the people to reach him when he was possessed by a Nogitsune because of said stupid ritual. He was the one to bring me back to the world of the living after a psychopath decided to drill a hole in my head. And then I kind of opened a portal between dimensions when he was erased from existence by the Ghost Riders and I killed one of them with my scream because they were gonna kill him. Like, what’s a girl got to do to keep her boyfriend, am I right? The dating pool is shallow enough as it is,” she finishes sarcastically. Yeah, she’s definitely been spending too much time around Stiles. 

“Hold on a moment,” Ms Morrell says. “You’ve brought each other from the world of the dead, from alternate dimensions and dream realms because of your tether to one another?”

“I’m also impressed by the fact that she managed to kill someone from the Wild Hunt - I’ve never heard of someone who could do it, not even a banshee.”

“Except one.”

“And you say that Stiles remains simply human?” Lydia nods. “A mortal?” Lydia nods again, starting to feel exasperated, again. 

“Anything else we should know?”

“Um, I can sort of feel him across distances? And dimensions?”

“What do you mean by that?”

“After all these things happened and we talked, it turned out that I was able to hear the MRA sounds from when he was getting tested for an illness. And I was also able to find where he was in his mind when he was kidnapped by the Nogitsune. And I could see the people he was seeing in the other dimension - a nurse, an old woman, a boy. I could find his room in his dad's house which by all accounts shouldn’t have existed back then. And I- I was the only one that didn’t fully forget him when he was being erased - I was drawn to his jeep and the radio inside exactly when he finally managed to reach out for us.”

“That definitely sounds like you have quite the connection with Stiles.”

“Yeah, I didn’t come here to gather fans for our relationship fan club, I want to know if this is permanent if this is real and if I could cure a few supernatural psychopaths that are gonna really fuck up my zen vibe in the near future.”

Deaton and Ms Morrell share a look. “It looks like it’s real and I think it is permanent,” Deaton says.

“Look,” Ms Morrell starts. “Believe it or not but I think you might be the reincarnation of the banshee queen from the Irish mythology.”

“I’m the what now?”

“From what we hear, you’re the strongest banshee we’ve ever heard of. And in the myths, she was skilled in magic usage and fighting, as she was the rival of Aibell, a Guardian spirit that she defeated once by turning them into a white cat. She leaves her world to elope with a mortal man but she’s betrayed by a minstrel and gets taken by a wave before she can be with him.”

“Well,” is all Lydia says at first. “If you replace Guardian spirit with fox spirit, a white cat with a werewolf, then I guess the story is pretty familiar.”

**Author's Note:**

> I've wanted to read a fanfic where Lydia goes back in time and really appreciates Stiles for a while now. I even prompted another writer to write a one-shot about it and it was great. Check it out! https://archiveofourown.org/works/25080838  
> My fingers were itching to write something the way I want to read it, however.  
> Hope you've liked it!  
> Don't forget to comment!  
> Also, if anyone wants to beta this fic, let me know in the comments. I cringed a bit when rereading it because I decided to write this in present tense midway through the story and missed editing some stuff.


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